The Funeral
Jan. 13th, 2007 09:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walbournThe best thing I can say about it is that it is over. My primary experience of a funeral is boredom, punctuated by uncomfortable speeches. One of Edna's daughters brought her preacher, a Southern Baptist who knew not a thing about Edna and had never met her. It started with a song, which was fine enough and sung well by a family member, then a weird rambling speech about how great the Rapture will be once we all accept Jesus as our personal savior. Apparently it's our best hope to see Edna again since she accepted Jesus, which privately many of us felt had he actually knew her as well as we did he would understand why such a statement is motivation to not be "saved". The idea that we had paid for a concrete liner and lid suddenly seemed a wiser requirement of the cemetery.
Todd noted that we should have responded to people saying in a pleasant voice "She was a spirited woman" with an equally calm and manner-of-fact response of "Yes, she was a crazy bitch and we loved her too." Most people who attended my wedding remember Edna as the Guest Book Nazi for a reason.
Honestly it was fine considering the realities of modern Western funerary rituals. The fact that she lived her whole life in a hick little town deep in the south of Texas means plenty of people in attendance actually felt comforted by the ineloquent ramblings of born again fervor. Edna married five times in her life, and while my mom is an only child she has a slew of half brothers and sisters. Of Edna's children, one daughter is a lawyer so she made a good choice as executor of the estate to clean up a really messy estate--Edna hasn't paid her taxes since 2003, she systematically horded and hid money from the rest of the family, and ignored bills to the point of threatened legal action--one daughter sung at the funeral and brought the preacher--Edna was religious, but the majority of the children rejected the Baptist church--, and the last had enough credit on hand to pay for the whole thing up front until the estate is in order enough to pay bills.
Meredith thinks she can get the whole thing dealt with over the next six months, and thanks to the fire-drill from a few years back during the last major crisis the physical clean-up is less chaotic and burdensome. There's indications that she has been robbed of a large portion of her extremely extensive jewelry collection, likely in large part by her care-giver's drug-addict son, but they did find a portion of it in the safety deposit box. Of the eighty Tiffany lamps she had ordered from QVC at one point, they only have 14 left to deal with. There's a storage unit that needs emptied out, and a lot of trash to haul away, but overall it's a lot better than the emotionally draining and Herculean task of cleaning they faced before.
There are definitely family members hurting emotionally with the passing of Edna, robbed of the hope of finding reconciliation with a woman who railed her whole life against her own mortality. It was not a graceful exit from this world, but I'm glad she did not suffer a length period if extreme debilitation in a nursing home.
Todd and I had booked extra time to help out if need be, but they seem to feel everything is well in hand. Todd changed his flight to return earlier, so I'm taking him to the airport tomorrow (Sunday) then heading up to Austin for a few days.
Todd noted that we should have responded to people saying in a pleasant voice "She was a spirited woman" with an equally calm and manner-of-fact response of "Yes, she was a crazy bitch and we loved her too." Most people who attended my wedding remember Edna as the Guest Book Nazi for a reason.
Honestly it was fine considering the realities of modern Western funerary rituals. The fact that she lived her whole life in a hick little town deep in the south of Texas means plenty of people in attendance actually felt comforted by the ineloquent ramblings of born again fervor. Edna married five times in her life, and while my mom is an only child she has a slew of half brothers and sisters. Of Edna's children, one daughter is a lawyer so she made a good choice as executor of the estate to clean up a really messy estate--Edna hasn't paid her taxes since 2003, she systematically horded and hid money from the rest of the family, and ignored bills to the point of threatened legal action--one daughter sung at the funeral and brought the preacher--Edna was religious, but the majority of the children rejected the Baptist church--, and the last had enough credit on hand to pay for the whole thing up front until the estate is in order enough to pay bills.
Meredith thinks she can get the whole thing dealt with over the next six months, and thanks to the fire-drill from a few years back during the last major crisis the physical clean-up is less chaotic and burdensome. There's indications that she has been robbed of a large portion of her extremely extensive jewelry collection, likely in large part by her care-giver's drug-addict son, but they did find a portion of it in the safety deposit box. Of the eighty Tiffany lamps she had ordered from QVC at one point, they only have 14 left to deal with. There's a storage unit that needs emptied out, and a lot of trash to haul away, but overall it's a lot better than the emotionally draining and Herculean task of cleaning they faced before.
There are definitely family members hurting emotionally with the passing of Edna, robbed of the hope of finding reconciliation with a woman who railed her whole life against her own mortality. It was not a graceful exit from this world, but I'm glad she did not suffer a length period if extreme debilitation in a nursing home.
Todd and I had booked extra time to help out if need be, but they seem to feel everything is well in hand. Todd changed his flight to return earlier, so I'm taking him to the airport tomorrow (Sunday) then heading up to Austin for a few days.
