"Must Love Dogs"
Aug. 13th, 2005 10:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walbournAs expected, I enjoyed the film. I really loved Diane Lane in Under the Tuscan Sun, and John Cusack is always great. He's his usual slightly psycho pseudo-stalker overly-talkative and emotionally desperate self, and she is the suffering divorcee wishing for love. The only real disappointment was no Joan Cusack.
Now, I enjoy "chick flicks" probably more than most any other straight man alive, but I have to say that there are some things about the "formula" of the romance that bugs me a bit.
First of all, everyone is all worried about Diane Lane's character because she's been divorced for eight months and wasn't dating. They all worry about her 'wallowing'. Um, 8 months? Try five years1. That's wallowing. Eight months. *scoff* Amateurs. Never mind the continued reinforcement of the image of single people as sad, broken, incomplete human beings who clearly are wasting their lives without a partnership to define them. Eight months of focusing on yourself, becoming comfortable with being single, and perhaps some therapy sounds like a really good idea after a major relationship.
Which brings up the second point. Why does her character have to be the 'blameless divorcee'? Can American audiences not handle the concept of mutual responsibility for a relationship going south? Her stated reason in the movie for the relationship ending is basically I thought we were happy, but he just stopped loving me. That's it!? Nothing more? I can understand feeling that your former partner is crazy and living in a fantasy world, but take a little responsibility. You are an adult for chrisstakes, why do you have to play the victim? I'm cool with her being the 'good wife' and the guy being the 'bad guy' if that is the kind of background needed to get past people being immediately judgmental, but I think it is kind of a turn-off to have her be clueless.
I guess I'm just showing that I didn't get my copy of the "American Handbook of Black & White Relationships".
In any case, charming film with some genuine heart and humor.
1 I'm not in any way recommending one spend five years wallowing. It was excessively self-indulgent and destructive. I just question the concept of having people trying to find another serious relationship to continue the cycle of replacement over choosing to be single for a while and getting their emotional baggage consolodated first.
Now, I enjoy "chick flicks" probably more than most any other straight man alive, but I have to say that there are some things about the "formula" of the romance that bugs me a bit.
First of all, everyone is all worried about Diane Lane's character because she's been divorced for eight months and wasn't dating. They all worry about her 'wallowing'. Um, 8 months? Try five years1. That's wallowing. Eight months. *scoff* Amateurs. Never mind the continued reinforcement of the image of single people as sad, broken, incomplete human beings who clearly are wasting their lives without a partnership to define them. Eight months of focusing on yourself, becoming comfortable with being single, and perhaps some therapy sounds like a really good idea after a major relationship.
Which brings up the second point. Why does her character have to be the 'blameless divorcee'? Can American audiences not handle the concept of mutual responsibility for a relationship going south? Her stated reason in the movie for the relationship ending is basically I thought we were happy, but he just stopped loving me. That's it!? Nothing more? I can understand feeling that your former partner is crazy and living in a fantasy world, but take a little responsibility. You are an adult for chrisstakes, why do you have to play the victim? I'm cool with her being the 'good wife' and the guy being the 'bad guy' if that is the kind of background needed to get past people being immediately judgmental, but I think it is kind of a turn-off to have her be clueless.
I guess I'm just showing that I didn't get my copy of the "American Handbook of Black & White Relationships".
In any case, charming film with some genuine heart and humor.
1 I'm not in any way recommending one spend five years wallowing. It was excessively self-indulgent and destructive. I just question the concept of having people trying to find another serious relationship to continue the cycle of replacement over choosing to be single for a while and getting their emotional baggage consolodated first.
