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May. 6th, 2003 10:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walbournme: "So I'm going to go to the party, meet some new people, find the beautiful, stand-offish, intellectual, introverted, emotionally-damaged girl and try really hard *not* to date her..."
ex-wife on other end of phone: Snort.
Was having a conversation with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rubylou at the Poly Third Place dinner tonight about how just seductively attractive damaged introverted girls are. They are like candy, and I just can't get enough. Of course, they are also like kryptonite and things just go to hell so damn fast. Apparently she's sworn off them herself, but I find that most of the women in my life I've been attracted to with some real chemistry fall clearly into that category, including most recently Kim and Andrea.
I know I have care-taker tendencies (loree loves to call me a "fixer"), but I don't think I'm really selecting these women because they are emotionally damaged. I like quirky, intellectual women. I like that they have some emotional baggage, otherwise how the hell are they going to understand someone has emotional as I am. It takes a little angst mixed with really living life to make someone interesting and have real experiences to draw from. I didn't think of them as having "issues" with a capitol 'I' when I met them, I just thought they were cool, interesting, and I had a lot in common with them. I want someone similar to myself, and that includes a few battle-scars...
Yet somewhere along the line, I become the focus of why they are unhappy... they give up and for a while they feel better having dumped me after having identified me as the source of their discontent--never mind that they had these feelings long before I came on the scene. Of course, nothing really gets addressed this way and they repeat this pattern (sometimes over and over and over again). It is so frustrating to see how gifted they are as people, how much they have to give and the strength of character I was attracted to in the beginning just doesn't get put to work on solving the issues that weigh them down, or at least not soon enough to save our relationship.
If they ever do address their demons (which I know they have the ability to do if they choose), I won't be in their life to enjoy the fruits of such efforts. I guess I should be happy for the people I love when they do make it past such hurdles. It would just be nice to be able to be there to enjoy the success with them...
ex-wife on other end of phone: Snort.
Was having a conversation with
rubylou at the Poly Third Place dinner tonight about how just seductively attractive damaged introverted girls are. They are like candy, and I just can't get enough. Of course, they are also like kryptonite and things just go to hell so damn fast. Apparently she's sworn off them herself, but I find that most of the women in my life I've been attracted to with some real chemistry fall clearly into that category, including most recently Kim and Andrea.I know I have care-taker tendencies (
loree loves to call me a "fixer"), but I don't think I'm really selecting these women because they are emotionally damaged. I like quirky, intellectual women. I like that they have some emotional baggage, otherwise how the hell are they going to understand someone has emotional as I am. It takes a little angst mixed with really living life to make someone interesting and have real experiences to draw from. I didn't think of them as having "issues" with a capitol 'I' when I met them, I just thought they were cool, interesting, and I had a lot in common with them. I want someone similar to myself, and that includes a few battle-scars...Yet somewhere along the line, I become the focus of why they are unhappy... they give up and for a while they feel better having dumped me after having identified me as the source of their discontent--never mind that they had these feelings long before I came on the scene. Of course, nothing really gets addressed this way and they repeat this pattern (sometimes over and over and over again). It is so frustrating to see how gifted they are as people, how much they have to give and the strength of character I was attracted to in the beginning just doesn't get put to work on solving the issues that weigh them down, or at least not soon enough to save our relationship.
If they ever do address their demons (which I know they have the ability to do if they choose), I won't be in their life to enjoy the fruits of such efforts. I guess I should be happy for the people I love when they do make it past such hurdles. It would just be nice to be able to be there to enjoy the success with them...
