(no subject)
Mar. 18th, 2005 12:00 amWhile driving to West Seattle for an excellent sushi dinner with
loree, it struck me how much my brother and I seem to be on distinct but oddly similar paths. I spent my 20s living with
appleang and a string of secondary relationships--something I had the freedom to pursue in our open committed relationship--ranging from a few month 'fling' that tended to return to a friendship to years of head-over-heels involvement. My career was enjoyable, and while time-consuming as hell I never felt like it was my life. I've now spent half my 30s living single, with career being the only daily focus for my life trying to work through the emotional turmoil of my late 20s.
My brother spent his 20s hyper-focused on school and career. It seemed like he was totally disinterested in relationships, and seemed asexual more than anything else. He made great strides in his career, socked away a lot of money, and lived a pretty aesthetically pleasing life. Of course, now that he is in his 30s, he's realized that he really wants a relationship but being gay he couldn't be happy in the repressive atmosphere of Texas. He's probably had more dates in the past six weeks than his entire life before moving to NYC.
At this point, I think we are both trying to find emotional fulfillment in our personal lives, to fit some image of a 'familiy life' into our current situations. Honestly, I don't know that either of us really has a clue how to reach that goal at this point, but at least we've both made a big move to the place that feels like the right place to find it for ourselves.
My brother spent his 20s hyper-focused on school and career. It seemed like he was totally disinterested in relationships, and seemed asexual more than anything else. He made great strides in his career, socked away a lot of money, and lived a pretty aesthetically pleasing life. Of course, now that he is in his 30s, he's realized that he really wants a relationship but being gay he couldn't be happy in the repressive atmosphere of Texas. He's probably had more dates in the past six weeks than his entire life before moving to NYC.
At this point, I think we are both trying to find emotional fulfillment in our personal lives, to fit some image of a 'familiy life' into our current situations. Honestly, I don't know that either of us really has a clue how to reach that goal at this point, but at least we've both made a big move to the place that feels like the right place to find it for ourselves.