Home again, home again, jiggity jig...
Apr. 28th, 2003 11:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walbournMade it home just fine. A big thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
loree for yet another round-trip airport shuttle, a place to park my car, and cat sitting for Koshka while I'm out of town!
I'm really damn tired. Not only have the usual jet-lag from flying all day across two time zones, I didn't really sleep well at all the nights I was in Austin: strange bed, Angela's as-little-AC-as-possible policy, cardinal singing next to my tent all night at the campout, staying up late gaming and hanging out at the revel fire, and generally being wound up and having weirdo dreams... Hopefully I'll manage more restful sleep tonight, although I suspect Koshka will be torturing me early in the AM due to the distinct lack of service the past few days.
Not much going on this week, although this coming weekend I plan to check out Vancouver B.C. ala the Cloud City gaming convention Saturday and Sunday.
Don't feel any of the homesickness this trip back to Texas that I did the last several. I think I managed to leave Austin before the real melancholy set back in, although some of that old habit and bitterness definitely started to creep back into my consciousness. Sad really, especially since *everyone* else involved as long since moved on: Kim has shacked up with some guy she's been seeing for over a year, Kim's ex Greg has Janice (the girl he left Kim for), Prem (the guy Kim left me for) is marrying some other woman, Angela (my ex) has been living with Bryce for years, and the best I managed in all that time was a few 'umm... we're friends' casual relationships and a few short months in Austin and a month of days in weekend visits to Portland with Andrea (which was the first girl since Kim I really fell in love with).
I didn't want to jump into another relationship and have it burdened by the baggage of my heavy heart, and that fear of getting hurt in part reinforced Andrea's fears that I didn't really love her. So much lost time, and I got nothing really to show for all those years of effort except a keen awareness of what I lost, what I want, and painful lessons in how love alone isn't enough...
So I spent four plus years being bitter and heartbroken... Really, I'm much better now... :/
loree for yet another round-trip airport shuttle, a place to park my car, and cat sitting for Koshka while I'm out of town!I'm really damn tired. Not only have the usual jet-lag from flying all day across two time zones, I didn't really sleep well at all the nights I was in Austin: strange bed, Angela's as-little-AC-as-possible policy, cardinal singing next to my tent all night at the campout, staying up late gaming and hanging out at the revel fire, and generally being wound up and having weirdo dreams... Hopefully I'll manage more restful sleep tonight, although I suspect Koshka will be torturing me early in the AM due to the distinct lack of service the past few days.
Not much going on this week, although this coming weekend I plan to check out Vancouver B.C. ala the Cloud City gaming convention Saturday and Sunday.
Don't feel any of the homesickness this trip back to Texas that I did the last several. I think I managed to leave Austin before the real melancholy set back in, although some of that old habit and bitterness definitely started to creep back into my consciousness. Sad really, especially since *everyone* else involved as long since moved on: Kim has shacked up with some guy she's been seeing for over a year, Kim's ex Greg has Janice (the girl he left Kim for), Prem (the guy Kim left me for) is marrying some other woman, Angela (my ex) has been living with Bryce for years, and the best I managed in all that time was a few 'umm... we're friends' casual relationships and a few short months in Austin and a month of days in weekend visits to Portland with Andrea (which was the first girl since Kim I really fell in love with).
I didn't want to jump into another relationship and have it burdened by the baggage of my heavy heart, and that fear of getting hurt in part reinforced Andrea's fears that I didn't really love her. So much lost time, and I got nothing really to show for all those years of effort except a keen awareness of what I lost, what I want, and painful lessons in how love alone isn't enough...
So I spent four plus years being bitter and heartbroken... Really, I'm much better now... :/
