Ramblings from Austin
Apr. 24th, 2003 12:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walbournMade it to Austin fine. The flight was choppy as hell with bad weather in Denver (rain/freezing rain/snow) and into Austin (which was overcast--I guess they ordered the Seattle weather to make it seem more homie for me). Actually, the weather is exactly the sort I miss the most about Texas--although it lasts about 2-4 weeks before it gets too damn hot in Spring and after cooling down before the cold of Winter. The warm breeze, the scent of cedar pollen trying to kill everyone with allergies, and temperatures in the upper 70s. Nice.
The Living Greyhawk game for tonight didn't make, but I enjoyed fine dining at Chuy's with a ton of salsa, queso, and fajitas! Got the update on the latest local gossip from my ex and her b/f (with whom I'm staying/camping with this weekend), made plans to visit various other friends the next few days, and hopefully the game tomorrow night will go off as planned.
All in all, I'm more comfortable this trip to Austin than previous ones since my move. I don't feel the same home-sickness for Texas, and I'm looking forward to my visit and returning home to Seattle. I still find myself thinking melancholy thoughts about certain ghosts here. Austin is where I found love three times, and all three of those loves are gone now. Angela and I are good friends, but the flames went out after a decade and the emotional angst of certain events. Kim's choices destroyed whatever we had and the years have poisoned whatever it is I still feel for her; all that is left is a twisted knot of despair, longing, bitterness, loss, and dreams of what might have been. Andrea gave up a year ago between her personal history and the long-distance situation, but the happiest moments of our relationship took place here in Austin. I'm trying to acknowledge those feelings without dwelling on them or focusing on how many things are missing from my life these days. I don't have the love of my life, but at least I don't have the on-going drama or the pain of it being ripped away from me day by day...
The Living Greyhawk game for tonight didn't make, but I enjoyed fine dining at Chuy's with a ton of salsa, queso, and fajitas! Got the update on the latest local gossip from my ex and her b/f (with whom I'm staying/camping with this weekend), made plans to visit various other friends the next few days, and hopefully the game tomorrow night will go off as planned.
All in all, I'm more comfortable this trip to Austin than previous ones since my move. I don't feel the same home-sickness for Texas, and I'm looking forward to my visit and returning home to Seattle. I still find myself thinking melancholy thoughts about certain ghosts here. Austin is where I found love three times, and all three of those loves are gone now. Angela and I are good friends, but the flames went out after a decade and the emotional angst of certain events. Kim's choices destroyed whatever we had and the years have poisoned whatever it is I still feel for her; all that is left is a twisted knot of despair, longing, bitterness, loss, and dreams of what might have been. Andrea gave up a year ago between her personal history and the long-distance situation, but the happiest moments of our relationship took place here in Austin. I'm trying to acknowledge those feelings without dwelling on them or focusing on how many things are missing from my life these days. I don't have the love of my life, but at least I don't have the on-going drama or the pain of it being ripped away from me day by day...
