The Saga of Grandma Bubbles
Jan. 15th, 2007 10:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walbournThe character of Grandma Bubbles came into my life when my parents returned from Japan in '75. My mother's mom, Edna, hated the idea of being a grandmother because it implied in her mind that she was 'old'. My mother had asked her over the phone "What do you want me to tell the kids to call you when they meet you?" She used to joke about this fan dancer named "Bubbles"--which as an adult implies to me that she had a risque party-girl side--so she apparently said "Have them call me Bubbles." Given the dynamics of exploiting weakness for humor value in my family, she had us call her "Grandma Bubbles". It stuck. I didn't even know her real name until my twenties.
In fact, I don't know her full name. She was Edna Wagner, but she was also Edna Whitehead, Edna Charbula, and two other names I don't recall at the moment. When I was in primary school, I was given an assignment to draw my family tree and I had to tell the teacher that I didn't know it all. Edna had five marriages, twice to the same man. Some of those men had their own families later, so my mother is an only child with a bunch of half-sisters and half-brothers. Granddad Whitehead died when I was young, and I don't think I ever met my father's father. Even at the funeral, my mom found herself introducing her sister to her brother who had never met until that day. Both sides of the family provided for a complex web of marriages, children, and remarriages. Maybe that in part primed me to accept non-traditional family structures despite my parent's sticking together through some really messy years and never divorcing themselves.
Grandma Bubbles' mother was Great Grandma Todd--my brother's namesake--who had a powerful and in many ways punishing impact on Edna and my mother. GGT married the love of her life who turned out to be an abusive alcoholic, and thanks to her being a staunch Southern Baptist, she suffered it for 40+ years. He abounded her early on, but visited again every year or so for many decades afterwards. Edna was conceived during one of these visits. That left GGT to earn her own living, which she did as a seamstress--a craft she excelled at but hated--, and treated all her children and grandchildren with distain with the exception of a son that himself was an alcoholic. From GGT, Edna developed her germophobia and religious fervor and turned my mother who stayed with GGT for years at a time as a child away from organized religion. GGT never divorced her absent husband until she went to buy a car for the first time in her 60s. At least my family comes by "never let anything go" honestly...
From stories I heard recently, Edna loved to dance and party. She had my mother when she herself was 18, and obviously had a tumultuous love-life. Granddad Leroy was her latest husband and they were together for 20 something years before Edna decided to leave him about 8-10 years ago. It is nearly impossible to get Leroy to express any emotion, and perhaps only such a person could put up with Edna's constant testing and a life-time of marginally treated depression. Leroy is likely taking Edna's death really hard, but it is impossible to get him to talk about it.
Edna was never well-educated. She worked 20+ years at Alcoa as a phone operator until she was replaced by a computerized switch board. Though she lacked formal education, she was a person of words. She loved cross words, read the dictionary, and often asked people to define words they used. She always had advice from some magazine or book, although the veracity of the source was often in question. She collected jewelry and had a thing for red glass, although in her later years the desire for collectibles were often exploited by home shopping network.
Many events with Bubbles stand out in my memory, but honestly few of them really paint her in a good light. They've provided much humor when retold with close friends, and my family and I recalled them privately a number of times this past weekend. People at my wedding to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
appleang may recall her as the "Guest Book Nazi". She had a mean streak at times, her logic was often irrational, and over the past decade or two her behavior had grown even more erratic. It is unfortunate that her life-long coping mechanisms lead her to a somewhat isolated and lonely final decade, but her memory will definitely live on.
In fact, I don't know her full name. She was Edna Wagner, but she was also Edna Whitehead, Edna Charbula, and two other names I don't recall at the moment. When I was in primary school, I was given an assignment to draw my family tree and I had to tell the teacher that I didn't know it all. Edna had five marriages, twice to the same man. Some of those men had their own families later, so my mother is an only child with a bunch of half-sisters and half-brothers. Granddad Whitehead died when I was young, and I don't think I ever met my father's father. Even at the funeral, my mom found herself introducing her sister to her brother who had never met until that day. Both sides of the family provided for a complex web of marriages, children, and remarriages. Maybe that in part primed me to accept non-traditional family structures despite my parent's sticking together through some really messy years and never divorcing themselves.
Grandma Bubbles' mother was Great Grandma Todd--my brother's namesake--who had a powerful and in many ways punishing impact on Edna and my mother. GGT married the love of her life who turned out to be an abusive alcoholic, and thanks to her being a staunch Southern Baptist, she suffered it for 40+ years. He abounded her early on, but visited again every year or so for many decades afterwards. Edna was conceived during one of these visits. That left GGT to earn her own living, which she did as a seamstress--a craft she excelled at but hated--, and treated all her children and grandchildren with distain with the exception of a son that himself was an alcoholic. From GGT, Edna developed her germophobia and religious fervor and turned my mother who stayed with GGT for years at a time as a child away from organized religion. GGT never divorced her absent husband until she went to buy a car for the first time in her 60s. At least my family comes by "never let anything go" honestly...
From stories I heard recently, Edna loved to dance and party. She had my mother when she herself was 18, and obviously had a tumultuous love-life. Granddad Leroy was her latest husband and they were together for 20 something years before Edna decided to leave him about 8-10 years ago. It is nearly impossible to get Leroy to express any emotion, and perhaps only such a person could put up with Edna's constant testing and a life-time of marginally treated depression. Leroy is likely taking Edna's death really hard, but it is impossible to get him to talk about it.
Edna was never well-educated. She worked 20+ years at Alcoa as a phone operator until she was replaced by a computerized switch board. Though she lacked formal education, she was a person of words. She loved cross words, read the dictionary, and often asked people to define words they used. She always had advice from some magazine or book, although the veracity of the source was often in question. She collected jewelry and had a thing for red glass, although in her later years the desire for collectibles were often exploited by home shopping network.
Many events with Bubbles stand out in my memory, but honestly few of them really paint her in a good light. They've provided much humor when retold with close friends, and my family and I recalled them privately a number of times this past weekend. People at my wedding to
appleang may recall her as the "Guest Book Nazi". She had a mean streak at times, her logic was often irrational, and over the past decade or two her behavior had grown even more erratic. It is unfortunate that her life-long coping mechanisms lead her to a somewhat isolated and lonely final decade, but her memory will definitely live on.
