(no subject)

"and I will remember you
will you remember me?
don’t let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories"
-- I Will Remember You, Sarah McLachlan


Driving up to Austin from my parent's place, I was reflecting on my thoughts about visiting a place I once called home for over a decade. My whole world was wrapped up in this place once, and part of me was left behind here: my marriage to Anglea, a 15-year friendship with Kirby, my stormy and life-changing relationship with Kim, the few short months Andrea and I had a full-time relationship, dozens of friendships from my UT days, co-workers and partners from the game company I co-founded, friends I met through the pagan community and CMA, and my old gaming buddies from the local RPGA club.

Last year I felt a little homesick, but knew in my heart that Austin was no longer my home. Seattle is where I live now and there is no turning back. This year I'm more at ease with my life in Seattle, and it is easier to acknowledge the things I still miss in Austin without feeling like I'm back-sliding into the past. There are parts of my life in Austin that I'm still in love with, still wish I could somehow recapture but know they are gone for good. There are things about life in Seattle that I really appreciate and love, and to end up there required the journey I started here--although I could have wasted fewer years feeling my heart was nothing but a knot of pain.

Loss of a part of yourself is probably not unlike losing a limb. The pain is still there, but you can't do anything about it physically. It is just gone. All that is left is in your mind. You learn to cope and will the pain away as best you can, but you can't help but wish that the lost part was still there and long for the comfort that would bring if it were possible.

(no subject)

Slept pretty well at onyxlynxx's place, although I woke up at 7:30am and couldn't really tell what time it was until I checked my cel phone. Given that it was 5:30pm Pacific time, I went back to sleep. I think I woke up because it was actually sunny outside and that doesn't happen in Seattle this time of year until closer to 10!

Had lunch with higdon at Tien Hong, one of our favorite lunch places, and have plans to have dinner with him, Christy, and onyxlynxx tonight at Serrano's. Did a bit of holiday shopping and then went looking for an Internet cafe. I figured my best bet was to head down to the drag in front of the University of Texas, and sure enough Little City offers free wireless. I'm attempting to grab a copy of Windows XP SP2 Update for Kirby--she doesn't currently have broadband---but (a) I'm having to do it via RAS to get the CD version and (b) I'm no doubt being seriously gated by the local network so it is taking a while.

At least there are still plenty of attractive young college students running about, which combines well with the sunny weather to provide a nice visual distraction.

I was trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to get accomplished on this trip. Other than getting to catch up with old friends and eat at as many of my favorite restaurants as possible I really couldn't think of anything. The parks here are nice enough, but the trees just don't compare to the Pacific NW. While the place is familiar, there isn't all that much I miss about Austin's locale.

(no subject)

I rather enjoyed this cartoon via theoldone