Heading "home" to Seattle...
Apr. 28th, 2003 10:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walbournIn every vacation, there is a last day and today is it for this trip. I've managed to hit all my fav restaurants, visit with a number of old friends--though not all of the ones I'd like to have seen--, and got to spend a few days warm for a change and not too damn hot or cold or wet. I've tasted the tastes of the place I called home for most of my life: salsa, tortillas, watermelon... all things that just don't taste the same up in Seattle. I've relived the small pleasures of knowing a place and people for many long years. At the same time, I feel the ghosts I tried to leave behind and find myself wondering in the back of my mind how I'd feel or what I'd say if I were to run into Kim while I was here. The bitterness I feel is as strong as the love I fought for so many years ago, and I'm so tired of living steeped in it.
My little apartment in Redmond is my home now. My cat is there, my belongings, my livelihood, and I hope the seed of a new happier life. I've given so many years of my life doing the 'right thing' when it comes to my relationships, all in the name of love and being responsible in the hope it would bring me lasting joy in return. Now I've given up the fabric of my life in Austin, the support network of friendships and familiarity of place, in the hope of finding that joy. It still seems a lifetime away, and I long for some touch, some comfort, some light of love to return.
So its goodbye again to my once well-loved town. Goodbye to the friends, flavors, and lost loves. I've got bills to pay, errands to do, doctors appointments to make, a cat to feed, and the small distractions and joys I've managed to find in my year and a half in Seattle...
In other news, the second Living Greyhawk game went off last night, but it was a mixed experience. Still, it was nice to see a few local gamer buddies. I might be back for Protocon in September, but otherwise I'm not coming back to Texas until the Winter holiday break.
My little apartment in Redmond is my home now. My cat is there, my belongings, my livelihood, and I hope the seed of a new happier life. I've given so many years of my life doing the 'right thing' when it comes to my relationships, all in the name of love and being responsible in the hope it would bring me lasting joy in return. Now I've given up the fabric of my life in Austin, the support network of friendships and familiarity of place, in the hope of finding that joy. It still seems a lifetime away, and I long for some touch, some comfort, some light of love to return.
So its goodbye again to my once well-loved town. Goodbye to the friends, flavors, and lost loves. I've got bills to pay, errands to do, doctors appointments to make, a cat to feed, and the small distractions and joys I've managed to find in my year and a half in Seattle...
In other news, the second Living Greyhawk game went off last night, but it was a mixed experience. Still, it was nice to see a few local gamer buddies. I might be back for Protocon in September, but otherwise I'm not coming back to Texas until the Winter holiday break.
